Wednesday, 18 July 2012

I Apologise / Forgive Me


I never wanted to hold you
I never wanted to carry you
I wished to throw you up in the toilet every mornig
I wanted to eat vile food so you may disintegrate into nothingness
But you found your way and I felt nothing more than loneliness
My nights were filled with nightmares , days were not painless
I never cried. If I did, they were crocodile tears.
I didn't want to cry for you because I was never to know you

The time came and I blacked out
I pushed thoughts of you far aside and smiled instead
Smiled at the old self I would be re- united with
Not the stranger I turned into when you were a part of me
I don't feel sad nor guilty
I didn't say goodbye and your departure I embraced.

Now I lie on my bed and think about you
You that I don't know and can't even make out
Its a strange feeling the feeling of emptiness
I feel like this when I recall the times we were together
This is why I'm asking you today not to hate me forever
It was a mistake, fuck, we could've never walked any further
Further than the glass doors and way in the world yonder
I had to let you go to keep my life going
I do apologise for the red clotty suit I sent you away with
I do apologise for taking away your last breath
Do you think you'll ever understand??
Will you ever forgive me??

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